Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Remembering Lucy

It's hard to believe it's been almost a month without you, Lucy, and I still miss you and think about you all the time. It just hasn't been the same around here since you've been gone.  I'll get these little reminders of you from time to time. Just yesterday the kids found 1 of your toenails out in the yard -you were a nail biter like me. This morning I unzipped Alex's backpack to find his school pictures (he looks so sad in them because they were taken the morning after you died.) And every once in a while I'll find one of your hairs. I always knew you wouldn't live forever but I always imagined that you would be alot older than just 7. They say the life expectancy for a Saint is about 8-10 years, which I never thought seemed long enough anyways, but I am heartbroken and feel like I got cheated out of a few more good years with you.
I remember the day we got you. We saw you in that tiny cage when we went to the pet shop that one summer day looking for a bunny. When we started asking about you and got to meet you in that closet-sized room, I could tell you were a little bashful, the way you kept trying to hide from us in the corner under the bench. Even though you were afraid of us, I want you to know it was love at first sight for me and when Ryan looked at me and said "we can get her if you want," I was ecstatic! Of course I wanted you! I had secretly wanted a Saint Bernard ever since the day I saw the movie Beethoven and you were so cute. It's hard to believe anyone could be mean to such an adorable little thing. And then when we brought you & your kennel cough home with us, and the way you were terrified of stairs, I always knew that those pet store people must've been mean to you. I kind of felt like we rescued you that day from them and looking back at all of the pictures I have of you growing up, you looked like you were happy with us.

We used to laugh at how you'd fall asleep flat on your back when you were a puppy. Now when you were teething and chewed a hole in the wall and my brand new leather pumps and all the kitchen chairs and table, well that wasn't very funny, but at least it was just a short phase you went through.

And those big, slimey puddles of slobber you would leave for me to slip and fall on as I ran through the kitchen in a rush weren't so funny either, but I could never stay mad at you because you'd give me one of those faces like you felt bad.

You were so easy to cuddle with and the kids loved laying on you and snuggling with you. You were like a big soft pillow. Such a good, sweet, proud momma to all 6 of your babes. The very best babysitter anyone could ask for.
Sometimes you'd get a little spunky. Remember how you used to play a little too rough with Buddy & pull at his back legs? Poor old boy. Or the time you went speeding past Emily as a toddler and sent her flying into the baby pool? She screamed and cried & got all soaked & you got in trouble.
You used to love to play in the snow with us. You used to eat the snowballs that would cake up in your toe hair. And even though you could never make it around the block without laying down in the middle of the sidewalk and needing to be carried the rest of the way home as a pup, you learned to love walks. Remember how you used to drag me around and people would holler out "who's walking who?" You always managed to get noticed whenever we took you out. Or that time when you dragged me across the field on my stomach after 2 women walking their dogs just to get them to pet you? You really embarrassed me that day, Lucy.

Now I know you weren't much of a showgirl with your crooked little face and bad teeth, but to me, you were always beautiful.
I loved all your cute freckles, and how you had black eyelashes on one eye and white ones on the other, & the way the fur on your one ear reminded me of a feather. And don't tell Daisy, but you always looked better in those reindeer antlers. You used to sit so still and practically pose for all my pictures. You'd even cross your paws.

I miss your snoring. You used to make us laugh at the funny, clumsy way you ran and how even though you were getting older, you'd still run and chase after Daisy like you were a puppy. I loved how laid back you were. You even put up with Daisy and loved her when I couldn't stand her. She misses you too, you know. She doesn't understand why she can't find you & she sometimes looks a little sad, but she has gotten much better these last couple of weeks. You were such a good mom to her and even though her halo isn't as straight as yours always was, you showed her how to be a big sweetie just like you.


Going through all my pictures of you, it was difficult for me to pick just a few to post, but these are some of my most favorites. I think this one of you running at me makes me really miss your smile. It always brightened my day. I miss being able to hug you and how you were always there following me around. You were the only one who always got excited every time you saw me like you missed me and was happy I was back. I really wish you weren't so afraid of steps and wood floors because then we could have spent even more time together. You were my favorite dog and I hope that someday I'll be able to have another Saint who'll be just as sweet and wonderful as you always were.